People Energy

I recently was given a term for a concept that I have held for a while.

"People Energy" is a similar concept to the spoon concept. Both are of the premise that I only have enough "People Energy" or "Spoons" for each day.

 

Some things take my energy away, and some things replenish it. For example: Having to ride the bus during peak hours and then grocery shopping at a busy small store afterward will take away energy; while going home and having dinner made for me, and being able to watch a show or read or nap will replenish it.

 

If I know I have an event that will require a lot of socializing or being around large groups I can take steps to "save" energy (spoons) up so I can meet those expectations without feeling overwhelmed or zapped for energy for days.

 

Leading up to it, I give my self-expectations a break. It's okay to let laundry or dishes sit. I nap. I try to eat well, exercise a bit and have some one on one time with my SOS or a close friend. I treat myself similarly afterwards.

 

It has also been helpful acknowledging where my limits are and being okay with saying, "this has been fun, but I am going to take off now" BEFORE my limit has been reached.

Generally when I start to withdraw, or find focusing difficult, or seeking a lot of affection I'm close to being done.

 

Affection to me is like a little energy booster shot. My theory for that is rather scientific, but the gist is that: A kiss, a hug, hair pets, or a hand holding from someone I am close with opens my serotonin banks. I get a little dose of happy brain juice! It only does so much though.

When I am uncomfortable I tend to seek out more (consensual) touching to offer me some stability until I can find my place in the situation.

 

I actually had a great experience with utilizing the people energy bank storage this weekend.

I was invited to a housewarming party for a friend of a friend I've just recently become acquainted with again. I knew a few people and my SOS came along too. Most people attending are rather extroverted and share a common social scene I was not part of.

I wanted to be social and friendly as I do see commonalities between these people and myself, and i have a genuine interest in knowing them better and developing my own independent friendships.

The morning of, I took time to eat well, did some yoga, watched television, and shared some time with my SOS.

 

At the party I felt great. I think I had conversations with everyone in attendance, I felt happy, laughed a lot, and didn't feel out of place or anxious. I got a few booster energy shots by some hair playing (3x!), some SOS snuggling, and some great one-on-one relating with a new person.

The next day I did feel a little zapped, but did the things that rejuvenate me: creative cooking, resting, and bringing some structure/organization/cleanliness to my home life. I got some big time help with the chores so I could sleep in and nap.

 

It was a very great experience.

-Monika

 

The Spoon Theory: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/