First it was birthday madness! My bestest, her older sister and I all have birthdays in August so it was a whole lot of party time and get togethers. I also started (and stopped) seeing "stuffy suit guy" (more on this later). I usually keep my social obligations on a white board calendar in my kitchen, so its easily accessible, but to keep things in order for August I ended up getting a purse sized calendar/planner so I had it with me all the time.
I do enjoy being busy, and I LOVE spending time with my friends, especially in a laid back environment. I had the chance to meet a few new people which was really great, and definitely helped me with my socializing skills. The problem with me, personally, being so busy though, is I don't take time for myself. So I wasn't cooking for myself (eating out a lot) which is not completely healthy. I also tend to spend more money (when budgets are tight), and my house gets pretty messy (yes, it's really messy!). I also don't have the chance to process and think about all that is going on.
So when things settle down and I have all this time now, my head gets a little like a whirlpool. I just cannot stop thinking about everything all at once. I like to compartmentalize things in my life, and its very hard to do when everything wants to bombard me all at once.
This sounds a little crazy. I know. I feel a little crazy when its happening. There are single thoughts, words, phrases, even sounds... combined with emotions, and worries.... So now I'm coming off the go go go, and having time to process everything, and having a lot of time all to myself.
So what has happened in the past month?
Work:
While I am very very VERY very thankful to have a job, it is not the sort of job that is mind engaging. I also have a problem with a co-worker who is an adult bully. I also learned that one of the ladies I really enjoy working with will be moving to a different department. In her place though is a lady who has a similar path that I have had with the department. (For those unaware) I was moved from a position that I really really wanted, thought I would excel at, and was told that it wasn't working out for me there (though why it wasn't working out was never explained to me). Rather than unemployment, I was moved into an admin role with a paycut. Still am VERY happy to just have a job.
I have become increasingly dissatisfied with going to work everyday, so I have been applying to other positions with the department/ city, and also making my interest known in a position that I think I will really enjoy. It's very technical, and changes every day... plus I have three years experience in it, as well as advanced certifications and have trained on this job (just not here in Seattle). There would also be room for advancement in that position.
I also got sick of saying "I'm going to go to business school eventually" and made the plunge, applied to a couple community colleges, filled out my financial aid forms and was accepted. I have to work on clearing up a random student loan I wasn't aware wasn't paid (10 years later). I should be going to school starting in February for Business Administration with a focus on Entrepreneurship and Project Management. While I would LOVE to open my bakery sooner than later, it requires a significant investment. That investment cannot happen with the job I am doing now. So the hope is to get the education/ experience to be a project manager. I think it would be a great fit for me in the time being until I can get things off the ground with the bakery.
Friends:
I had the amazing opportunity to spend a lot of time with my friends this month, but feel like there is a slight disconnect. I'm not sure why its happened/happening, but I really don't like it. Maybe I'm just a little different than they thought I was. Maybe I'm not as interesting. Maybe I'm too negative. I don't know. Maybe we're just in different places in life that don't quite mesh right now.
I did enjoy the low key time spent at the beach, the wonderful food and all the sweet treats that this month brought. I had the chance to meet a couple of amazing new people thanks to my bestest's older sister having amazing friends who travel across the country just to see her. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to, and being engaged in their conversations.
Cooking:
Oh my gosh! My "experiments" have been getting better and better and no failing as much. I am very happy with playing with new flavors (Lemongrass Ginger Stewed Pork) and making decadent sweets (Dark Chocolate, Mocha, Chocolate Chip Cookie Brownies).
SOOOOO.... now taking some deep breaths, and enjoying life how it is. While sometimes it feels kind of crummy.... I am so very very happy.
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