So, I've always been the quiet, bookwormish, wall flower girl. I have a hard time connecting with people that I first meet; especially if I meet them in a group setting. Generally I make my impressions of people based on their interactions with others and just by watching how they get along with others. I listen to what they say to see if there are red flags that would concern me if I were to speak with them; really it's just getting a general idea of who they are so that I know the best way to approach them and interact with them.
I have been called anti-social, snobby, stuck up, and even bitchy and mean by people who interpret my shyness as something else. It hurts having that be the perception, when anyone who knows me, knows that is far from the truth.
Big social situations also cause me a lot of anxiety. When there is a lot of noise, a lot of people, a lot of conversations, and just a whole lot going on, I have a hard time focusing. That's why the one-on-one interactions work better for me. I can focus on a single person, what they're saying and engage in a conversation free of a lot of distraction.
Being shy has now become a roadblock for me both professionally and in my romantic relationships with my SOS and my Sweetie.
So this is going to be a telling of my adventures, my feelings and my efforts in hopes of externalizing the my inner social butterfly. I hope to share this with others and get some constructive feedback or just some cheerleading!
Thanks for reading--
-m
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